Modern weddings are becoming increasingly personal and what better way to personalise your ceremony than writing your own vows? Reading out wedding vows you've written yourself can add a truly unique touch to your wedding day and can be a stand out memory for years to come. Writing your own isn't always easy but the good news is, we have tips on how best to write your unique vows and even enjoy the process!


Talk it out

First of all, talk to your partner. It's really important to make sure you're on the same page when writing your vows. Nobody wants to sit through two minutes of jokes if that's not what they were expecting. Deciding on the length and tone of your vows will eliminate any unwanted surprises at your ceremony. You and your partner can also decide on certain promises you'd both like included and any subjects you'd like to stay away from. Another detail people often forget is to notify your officiant. Certain places of worship will not let you recite your own vows or require you to say part of the traditional vows.


Quality time

Well written vows will more than likely not be written at 11pm the night before your wedding! Give yourself plenty of time to write. If it takes weeks to get it done, is that so bad? Reflecting on your relationship can be helpful when deciding what to include. Make time to do this to avoid stressing yourself closer to the day. Another thing to make time for is editing- vows should be readable! Have someone you trust, like a parent or close friend, to read over it for any mistakes you may have missed. Editing will also make sure your vows aren't too lengthy. A minute to a minute and a half should be more than enough time per person (if you need more or less time, that's fine too!).

Post it note

Sometimes the best ideas we have come at the most random times, not necessarily in the time you've dedicated to writing. Keeping note of the little things that pop into your head can be helpful if you have a short memory or you're too busy to slot it into what you've already written. Open a note on your phone and keep ideas there or treat yourself to a new notebook just for your vows and keep it on you!

Up close and personal

The best part of writing your own vows is how unique to you and your partner they will be. There so many different ways to make the vows personal. If you're struggling start off by including what makes your partner special, a shared memory, promises, what you look forward to in the future or maybe some meaningful quotes or lyrics. Adding in quotes that you both love is a great touch but just make sure it doesn't overpower your own words. One or two lines should be enough to bring up any memories without taking over.

I promise...

When writing the promise section of your vows there are many templates you can base yours off. Some people choose to stick to the more traditional vows which can differ depending on your religion. These are a good place to start but you can always add your own to these or go a whole different route altogether. Modern vows no longer need to centre on 'in sickness and in health'. Why not promise to always go to gigs with your partner? This is an ideal opportunity to add a little humour if you'd like to. Take inspiration from everywhere and find out what promises suit you best!


Once you get writing you may find you can't stop as you remember more and more memories and stories. While it's fantastic you have so much to share, be careful you don't overshare. The vows are personal, intimate and you say them to your partner but don't forget there are others listening too. Avoid bringing up anything that may make someone uncomfortable or too many inside jokes that will be lost on your guests. A great way of avoiding this is by writing a separate letter to your partner for them to read the morning before the ceremony. Why not attach a little gift of something to wear to the ceremony or a keepsake they'll really appreciate?

Copy that

Keep a copy of your vows. It's very easy to lose a piece of paper in the midst of your day. This is one thing you'll want to hang on to and look back on. We love the idea of making your vows into booklets. Not only does this ensure you won't lose them but it also makes for a stunning wedding photo opportunity!

You may also like: 10 things you should do the week of the wedding